


Love Don't Live Here Anymore

by korilove



Series: you & i verse [4]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-30
Updated: 2015-03-30
Packaged: 2018-03-20 09:50:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3645822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/korilove/pseuds/korilove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lydia and Stiles have a confrontational heart to heart. Sort of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Don't Live Here Anymore

**Author's Note:**

> Here's part 4! Title is from a song of the same name by Lady Antebellum.
> 
> Beta'd by [Po](mcmartinskees.tumblr.com)!

It turns out, the Silinskis actually do always spend Saturdays with the McCalls.

When Lydia finally makes it into the living room, she’s greeted by many a familiar face. Stiles and Allison are sitting side by side on the loveseat, engaged in conversation with Scott and Melissa, who are on the couch. Beside them, John is bouncing the most adorable little girl with jet black ringlets on his knee.

Lydia leans up against the frame of the living room entry way and takes in the image. They’re all smiles and laughs - the easy feel of the room relaxes the jitters Lydia feels in her bones.

After what seems like no time at all, Allison looks up and spots her. She gives her a smile and a jerk of the head, beckoning her to stop sitting on the sidelines.

Lydia chuckles lightly before entering the scene.

\----------------------------------

After dinner, Melissa and John take off for home. Melissa promises to give Lydia the recipe for her blueberry pie and she also receives a big bear hug from the sheriff. Scott and Stiles take Vicki out for ice cream after many incessant demands from the little angel.

Apparently her father and godfather are pretty soft.

Lydia helps Allison with the dishes - Allison washes and Lydia dries. It all feels pretty normal, like this is exactly what she is meant to be.

“Lyds?”

Lydia comes back to reality, being met by a knowing look from her raven haired friend. Lydia rolls her eyes and nods.

“I’m fine, I swear.” She says.

Allison appears to wave it off, but dives into another territory Lydia would rather avoid.

“So, how was seeing Stiles for the first time in three years?”

Lydia cringes a bit and mashes her lips together. She knows Ally is just waiting for a reaction, and will make deductions based on whatever she says. Not that she doesn’t trust whatever Ally has to say, she’s still not used to revealing her feelings to anyone. Let alone her best friend.

“Honestly, it was pretty awkward.” Lydia takes her eyes away from her friend and viciously dries the plate she’s holding. “It definitely didn’t help that I bumped into him while trying to rush away, either.” She says under her breath.

Allison’s hand grasps Lydia’s wrist for a moment - it’s cold from the water, but it sends little flicks of electricity over her skin. “Lydia, you should just talk to him. It’s been a long time, you need to hash it out. Then I’m sure you can at least be friends.”

Lydia licks her lips and ignores the tears threatening to prick at her eyes. “You’re right.” she responds, nodding.

With a deep sigh, she sets the plate aside and picks up another to dry.

\--------------------------------------

Later, once Vicki is in bed, the four former friends are all in the living room, swapping stories. Mostly, Lydia just listens to Scott and Stiles go on, while Ally adds comments.

Stiles always looks so animated when he’s telling a story. His whole face lights up, his hands are flying in every direction, eyebrows kinking and his cheeks drawn up closer to his eyes -

Lydia doesn’t even realize she’s zoned out of the conversation until Ally nudges her gently with her foot.

Lydia tears her eyes away from Stiles to glare source of the prodding, but Ally just clears her throat.

“Scott, we should probably check on Vicki.” Ally says, stare focused and pointed at her husband.

Scott nods, babbling on with some lame excuse, and he and Ally exit the room.

_Way to be subtle, guys._

Lydia makes an audible “ _tch_ ” sound with her tongue and slides further into the couch. Stiles pointedly avoids her gaze and starts to tap his fingers on the coffee table in front of him, a nervous habit Lydia remembers very well.

The awkwardness from earlier starts to seep back into the room, and the silence between them makes it even worse. Lydia wishes she could find something, anything to say to him. She never thought she’d miss Stiles’ incessant talking, but she does right now.

She’d even beg for it at the moment.

After what seems like a lifetime of silence, Lydia rises from the couch with a huff. “Well, I think I’ll call it a night.” She trails off, nods in Stiles’ direction and goes to make her way out of the living room.

Lydia gets all the way to the entryway of the room before Stiles finally speaks. “You know, you probably won’t sleep a wink.”

Lydia slowly turns back towards Stiles, her eyes narrowed. “And why is that?”

Stiles gets up from the loveseat and shifts his way closer to her as he offers an explanation. “Well, commonly speaking, jet lag when travelling west leads to early awakening instead of early sleep. Waking up periodically and trouble staying asleep.”

Lydia rolls her eyes. “I know what jet lag is, Stiles.”

Stiles purses his lips and points at her with his right hand. “There’s the irritability.”

Lydia scoffs and crosses her arms in front of her chest. “I am not irritable.”

Stiles still inches closer as he speaks, his hands moving spastically as he rambles. “Well it could just be that I’m not so accustomed to your personality anymore. I mean - it has been a while.”

“Your point?” Lydia juts her chin forward, challenging him to go exactly where they both don’t want to with this conversation.

Stiles doesn’t take the bait, but propels forward with a different subsection of jet lag. “Of course if you didn’t get much sleep, you could even be murderous. Sleep deprivation is very serious Lyds.”

Lydia knows he’s speaking from his experience with Void, and it makes her a little lighter that he’s learned to joke about it. If he is joking - she can’t quite tell from all the guards he has up around her.

“Stiles-” She tries, but Stiles just keeps talking.

“You can lose track of time and do things you normally wouldn’t. Like, you are wearing sweatpants right now, that’s not something that is considered _normal_ for you-”

Lydia tunes him out, completely seething with the way he brings in her appearance to the building tension. Especially since he’s gotten so close to her they’re almost touching.

 _Why was I so desperate for him to start talking?_ she wonders, regret from her thoughts earlier fueling the fire that’s lit itself in her belly. She may not have been irritated before, but she definitely is now.

So to stop his babbling and shut him up, she stretches up on her toes and plants a kiss on him.

The whole world seems to slow to a stop, and the air feels like it's been sucked out of the room. Stiles doesn't respond at first, his lips are still and Lydia holds her breath. The first few seconds into the kiss seem to drag on forever. Kissing him was completely unprecedented, non methodical and not planned, making Lydia feel extremely out of control. She desperately clings to him, feeling like her entire universe could drop out from underneath her if he doesn't reciprocate.

And then she feels him give in.

He tangles his fingers in her hair and kisses her back like a man possessed. He sighs into her and clutches her tight, making her heart feel like it's going to burst. She opens up to him and he tastes like home, like everything she remembered. It's rough and desperate and everything Lydia's been missing.

But it's over before it starts, because Stiles pulls away suddenly and rubs his hands over his mouth. "No. Y-you can't. You can’t just kiss me right now." He sputters, unable to look at her.

"You're right. I shouldn't have." Lydia agrees. She can feel the heat creep up onto her cheeks and emotions threatening to ebb their way to the surface.

Stiles pauses at that, his finicky movements coming to a stop. "Then why did you?" He says, his voice a million miles away.

Lydia contemplates it for a moment. Did she want him to stop rambling? Did she want to sink into the first emotion she could find in order to reawaken herself? Did she actually miss Stiles and everything they had?

Or did she miss intimacy in general, and this was simply the easiest route to find it again?

"Then why did you, Lydia?" Stiles repeats, the softness in his voice edging into annoyance.

Lydia can't honestly answer him. She came back to Beacon Hills for him, but now that she's here, is it for the right reasons?

So she says the first thing on the tip of her tongue.

"I don't know. Okay?" She hisses, her emotions blurring into frustration in her tone.

"You don't know." Stiles repeats again, huffing out the words as he starts to pace. Lydia looks down at her feet and licks her lips in frustration. She's never been the best at this.

"Well what do you know, Lydia?" He says, his frustration still obvious, but not increasing. It sparks something in Lydia, and immediately the walls shoot up as she crosses her arms in front of her chest.

“Maybe I kissed you to shut you up. I know it works.” She spews, her words like venom. She can feel the black poison filling up her veins and it seethes out every molecule.

“That’s it?” Stiles challenges, stepping closer to her. Lydia doesn’t move an inch, refusing to back down. “No other reason?”

“Of course not.” She bites back. “Why else would I kiss you?”

Stiles seems to falter a little bit, but Lydia’s heart is beating too fast for any other emotion but anger to win out. He turns away from her for a second, before closing the distance between them in an obvious last-ditch effort.

He kisses her roughly, but Lydia stands stone still. Unyielding, stubbornly refusing to let her mess of emotions wreak any more havoc than they already have.

When he feels her unforgiving against his lips, he pulls away. “Fine.” He huffs, more emotion than she knows he wants to emit. He turns to leave her, and the anger Lydia feels in her belly mingles with guilt.

She knows there’s still feelings for him in her body, a body that’s long felt closed off and unable to reciprocate.  "I'm sorry." Lydia's voice betrays her, it comes out broken and wispy.

Apologizing was obviously the wrong course of action, because as soon as the words leave her mouth, he stops dead in his tracks. After a moment he turns and rounds on her.

"Are you?! Are you sorry Lydia? hmm?" He starts to paces again and his arms go flying around as he makes his frustration known. "Sorry for leaving me in Sacramento without a word? Are you sorry that I had to piece together that we were done all by myself because you gave up on us?"  He stops pacing and turns back to her, clearly awaiting a response.

Lydia can hear her heartbeat in her ears and she struggles to keep her breathing even as she responds. "What do you want me to say, Stiles?"

"I want you to tell me that this job an-and this life you got was worth it. Because that is the only logical way I can understand why you'd do this."

He looks completely broken as he speaks, his emotions out in the open for her to see. Her stomach lurches and she really doesn’t know how to respond.

"I can't-" she trails off, her eyes are starting to water and she can't handle all these emotions. Anger, guilt, longing, lust and sadness blend together. Of course she can’t tell him that she was happy in New York - because she wasn’t.

She just doesn’t know how to really tell him.

"Thats what I thought." He says, venom edging out in his tone.

"No, Stiles. I c-can't - I can’t do this right now." Lydia basically shouts at him, and she can feel the anxiety flood back in, her entire composure broken.

Before she does something stupid, like cry, she turns and makes a beeline for the McCall’s spare bedroom, leaving a bewildered Stiles behind.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr @ [oxtavias](oxtavias.tumblr.com)


End file.
